Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Best New Year Funny Resolutions

Best New Year 2016 Funny Resolutions Pics
1st January  is on our door.So it's time to take some new year resolutions.It is said that New Year resolution is bound to be broken. This is the reason, why most of the New Year resolutions are considered funny. A funny New Year  resolution is often made during the celebrations of New Year Eve. Many people make New Year resolution just for fun while some make them with a sheer seriousness. For example, if you have an obesity problem, you can make a New Year resolution on that. However, if it works for you, you will be benefited else you will get a funny New Year resolution. Internet is the best place where you can find plethora of them. Some best funny New Year resolutions are mentioned below hope you're gonna love them and may took some of them as your new year resolutions seriously.

Best New Year Funny Resolutions Idea


I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will stop sending e-mails to my wife

I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello".

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will give up chocolates totally.

I will be more imaginative.

I will not wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother.

I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven't cleaned it more than once in the last year.

I will always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.

I will always "check for paper" before and after leaving a public restroom.

I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.

I will always wear clean underwear, "just in case".

I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.

Never again will I try to diffuse an explosive device with a known practical joker.

Read less books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.

Gain weight, at least 40 pounds. Didn't your mom always say you were bit skinny.

Cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for your health, it can even kill you.

Watch more TV. It's very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.

Draw up a list of people who were nasty to you in the past year, get your own back on them in the next year!

Drink more. Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So be happy.

Eat more nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables and soy nuts.

Work less. Take it easy. All work and no play can make you a dull boy or girl.

Play more computer games. Scientists say they're good for you and improve your visual skills. But you always knew that.

Take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs.

I will drink less beer, last year I drank enough beer to have kept the Titanic afloat.

I will spend less money on buying useless stuff like this new DVD Rewinder I had ordered for christmas.

I will drive more carefully, people are starting to notice the dozens of dents in my car.

I will treat my girlfriend better, I won't make her carry all the groceries the next time we go to the market.

I promise to be nice to my dog. I won't starve him to death more than 10 times.... in a month.

I will no longer interfere in a game.

I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
More Funny New Year's Resolutions for
I will leave my brain at home while going to watch a supposedly scary movies like Scary Movie 1, 2, 3 & 4!

I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

I will never again eat a jack fruit before going to a public function.

I resolve to hold my breath and pull in my paunch when I cross my young secretary.

I will stop saying," Ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports.

I resolve not to see any serial or movie in which any dead character is brought alive.

I resolve not to call any phone number of any TV contest as they are always kept off the hook.

I resolve not to swim in any swimming pool without water.

I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.

My New Year resolution is: 1024 by 968 pixels!

Learn what the hell "resolution" means.

These Funny resolutions on New Year could also be considered as New Year resolution jokes as well. If you want to wish ‘Happy New Year' to your loved ones, you could also send these jokes through your mobile  or android phones as text messages.You can also share them as your New Year Resolution Facebook Status or New Year  Resolution Whatsapp Status
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